Movie Review: “Bastard”

   Bastard is a horror comedy film directed by Powell Robinson and Patrick Robert Young in both their feature-film directorial debuts, and it’s the first film from production-company Big Bad Film as well. That’s when you know you’re in for something. When a company’s name sets you up for an easy insult like that. You just know I will incorporate the name into a super-clever final verdict. Bastard is a part of the 8 Films to Die For.

   The cast includes Rebekah KennedyEllis GreerDan Creed, and Will Tranfo. I am not familiar with any of these actors, myself, but I’ll assure you they’re mostly formidable and capable with their roles. That’s imperative for any film, but for a lesser known horror, it’s a definite highlight. The acting isn’t about to wow you or anything, but it’s acceptable enough.

   The film has an interesting enough narrative, it follows five strangers and a masked murderer that kills ’em off inside a lonely mountain town. Sounds like a typical slasher, eh? The characters include a newlywed couple that just so happen to be serial killerstwo runaways they pick up on the side of the road, and a suicidal cop, with the newlywed couple being the crown jewel of the bunch.

  When the flick starts, it opens with what I believe to be the best scene of the entire movie, involving the killers and a random guy in his vehicle. They kill him, of course, but the scene’s execution had me looking forward to the film a lot more than beforehand. This is helped by the twosome’s dialogue as well as the cinematic scoring, which carries a retro style that mixes familiar elements without coming off as too derivative. 

    A short and sweet run-time of 81 minutes works to the film’s benefit and disadvantage. I always prefer this, because a film of this type shouldn’t really try and force themselves because they want to reach a specific length.

    The dialogue is quirky at times with occasional one-liners that sometimes hit their mark.

    Unfortunately, for the most part, Bastard suffers as a mishmash of themes. A jack of all trades, but a master of none. Dealing with serious subject-matter like incest, the film feels disproportionate and inconsistent. Don’t get me wrong, Bastard tries at emotional depth, and the actors show some efforts, but it is followed by strange attempts at comedy that fail in execution. The moments it doesn’t fuck around are the best moments, or the moments when it’s fucking around serves a purpose. 

    I don’t want to spoil it for any of you, but there’s a scene involving a sex-toy being used as a weapon that really emphasizes a lack of structure. A film like Evil Bong 420 can have a dildo involved, no big deal, but Bastard played it too straight for that. From the beginning, the humor was sarcastic and light-heart, but it was never really what I’d regard as ‘campy’ until that scene.

    I also didn’t like the last twenty-or-thirty minutes when it swallowed its tail with an overtly convoluted approach. Bastard‘s run-time is an advantage because it makes these moments shorter and it allows me to quickly move onto something else, but it’s a disadvantage because these moments might have reaped a great deal of benefit off more time.

   This is all a damn-shame, because Bastard has the inner-workings of a solid-slasher film approach. The cast aren’t superbly fleshed out, but they’re fleshed out more than the average Joe being offed by a masked killer. I couldn’t imagine any of them dying, but that only makes me wish it wasn’t a slasher film at all! The slasher aspect feels like an afterthought, and I don’t care about any of it as much as I care about the characters. In-particular, I liked the killer-couple and the runaways. How cool would a film about them on a road-trip be? The whole time, the couple’s debating on whether to off them, and the runaways are dealing with their problems too. But that’s not the movie Bastard is.

    Bastard is, however, an entertaining horror film, that I enjoyed just enough to assume some others might enjoy even more. IMDb dubs the budget as $80,000, which means they did an awful lot with an awful little. In the end, if you’re a fan of the sort-of stuff from 8 Films to Die For, I’d recommend it. 

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.0