Movie Review: “The Killer Eye”

   The Killer Eye is a Full Moon Feature film directed by David DeCoteau, starring Jacqueline Lovell and Jonathan Norman. It is the rare film I have more to say about why I watched it than I do what I thought about it. I watched it because it is a Full Moon film and I generally have an affection for their early fare. It is clear, however, that 1999 was the start of Full Moon Features’ descent.

   I won’t pretend that Full Moon Features was ever known for highbrow cinema, because they weren’t. That was never expected. What I will say is that Full Moon Features, at its best, is fun and quirky, low-budget horror and science-fiction that I enjoy.

   A lot of people prefer Charles Band’s earlier company Empire International Pictures. After all, they did Re-AnimatorTrancersDolls, and From Beyond. They introduced us to late director Stuart Gordon, one of the real diamonds in the rough of the company and the director of three of the films I mentioned. The best part about Empire, and Full Moon Features, on some level, to me, wasn’t ever necessarily the quality of the film, but the whimsical nature and willingness to depend on its concept and story and not cheap jokes and bad gags. Although later Full Moon Features went into the territory of spoofs and parodies, early fare was peculiar and mostly played straight. Puppet Master could have been a straightforward ripoff of Child’s Play, and yet, for some reason, we’re in Germany evading Nazis. It doesn’t always have the best outcome, but it is a lot more interesting than seeing one-hundred Evil Bong movies meant to pimp out merchandise on their website’s storefront.

   It is remarkable how much of a decline The Killer Eye is from each person’s peak. Eight years prior, David DeCoteau directed Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge, my personal favorite film in the Puppet Master series and one of the highlights in Full Moon’s filmography. Three years prior, Jacqueline Lovell starred in Head of the Family, a dumb and goofy science-fiction film from Full Moon that was both fun and unique, and infinitely better than The Killer Eye.

   What is The Killer Eye? For the most part, it is a softcore porn. It call itself a science-fiction and horror comedy (and that’s how I will categorize my review on Nickelbib, because I’m not making a softcore porn category), but it is totally a softcore porn. Every character exists only to progress the film to its next nude scene, and … you know what, … they’re weird.

   It isn’t like Head of the Family didn’t have nudity in it. We saw Jacqueline Lovell in the buff, along with others, but it was an honestly enjoyable film. I equated it to a simple, straightforward short story brought to the small screen. It had characters and a storyline, and things going on. This one has nothing else on its mind beyond it.

   I could understand that, too, to be honest. Charles Band has produced softcore porn before, after all. He usually doesn’t even beat around the bush and labels it as such. However, for this film, I am left scratching my head on exactly who it is meant for. It isn’t meant for me – a fan of goofy, absurd horror sci-fi, and it isn’t meant for fans of erotica cinema – unless you find greasy-looking tentacles gently rubbing up against people to be arousing (I’m aware there is a market for something like this, but this film is yuck). Everyone is phoning it in, and it is the worst film I have reviewed from Full Moon Features so far, and I didn’t even really review it.

   There’s a scientist. He makes an eye. It’s big. It has tentacles. It rubs up against people. I don’t recommend it.

   Moving on, … 

Rating: – 0.0 out of 5.0